Today I went clothes shopping. My boyfriend knows it's like pulling teeth to get me to shop if and when I can afford it. But with a camping trip coming up this weekend he really really wanted me to get some jeans so I don't freeze to death at night. Well, I haven't worn jeans since the 70's. Jeans don't stretch enough to cover my butt and my gut. But I determined to at least give it a go. I asked him if I could also pick up 2 or 3 new t-shirts. He said okay.
Well I get to the store and try on the biggest jeans in the women's and the men's dept. No way no how those were going to fit me. Well, that was demoralizing enough. I started looking at shirts. Remember it's his money, so I don't want to overspend. Then again he didn't say how much I could spend. Anyway, instead of 2 or 3 shirts I found 7 I wanted (needed). Two t-shirts for camping, 3 sleeveless shirts in case it's 100 degrees when we get there, and 2 nicer shirts because you just can't wear a t-shirt everywhere.
Then I have a new dilemma. Is he gonna to get mad if I buy more than he's expecting and on top of that, I don't get the jeans? Two days ago he got mad because I needed to grab breakfast as we were running errands and he didn't want to pay for mine (not that I asked him to). So I tried to call him at work to ask if it was okay. Of course he didn't answer his phone (almost never does). So I sat down to think about my options.
Here's where the "I remember when' part comes in. I remember when my mother took the five of us kids shopping. My father earned the only family income by being a Sgt. in the air force. So my mother was always afraid she'd spend too much and he'd be furious. So we'd get to the register and she'd panic and we'd have to start putting things back. With five kids even buying socks and underwear can add up to a lot. I was always mortified when she acted that way. Like any decision she made would be wrong.
So I'm thinking, "OMG I'm turning into my mother." I couldn't decide which 3 shirts to keep and which 4 to put back. I felt bad that he had to buy my clothes at all. I felt bad to know that if I bought them myself, I'd be broke until the first of next month or longer. I almost went home out of sheer frustration without buying anything. But then he'd accuse me of being a martyr. But I really did need at least some of them for this weekend. Finally I bought all the shirts and put it on my debit card. It was over $50.00. Kind of a no win situation.